Thursday, October 30, 2008

"Our Wednesday"

I wrote a post about spending Wednesdays with my D-I-Love, Brandy. This was before a friend (thanks, Karla) shared the tip of writing each blog into a Word document (she uses Google and I use Microsoft) first and THEN pasting that into the blog site. HAD I been in the habit of doing that, I wouldn’t have lost an ENTIRE post but I did. So upsetting I haven’t had the heart to try writing it again.
I’ll try to sum it up instead.

Brandy is my first D-I-Love. During her pregnancy with our first granddaughter, her doctor’s appointments were almost always scheduled on Wednesdays. On days when Michael, (our oldest son) couldn’t get off work to take her, I’d pick her up. Off we’d go to the doctor wondering what he’d say before we got there and talking about what he said on our way back.

It became a special time between the two of us.

When Emily was born, the Wednesdays ended with the pregnancy and daily life picked up, the same kind of rhythm as before. There ended up being tension in our relationship.

She wanted me to spend more time with her first child and our first grandbaby and was hurt. I never visited them without an invitation. I was stretched to keep up with my family responsibilities and could not bring myself to invite myself so I only went if she invited me.

It ended with a sharing of her heart in wanting me to be an active part of Emily’s life and expressing how hurt she felt. She told me her mother (who lives several states away) would cry on the phone over Emily’s firsts and I was right here and wasn’t “there” for them.

Even though it was a huge moment of revelation for me (she was right) … I didn’t know how to change it.
I wrote her a letter and prayed before writing it. I ended up typing through tears as the Lord revealed the truth to me. She needed me and my grandbaby needed me and I wasn’t there for either of them.

I saw myself and my roles as Mother-In-Love and Grandmother as they were and I wasn’t “in” them. It broke my heart. I emptied my thoughts into that letter and told her the truth: that I didn’t know how to be either one of those things because I had never been them before. I told her to be patient with me and maybe she could help me learn to be better in both roles.

She has.

We somehow, by the grace and gift of God, decided to dedicate Wednesdays as our day together. A day we would spend together… just us… to build a bond.

Brandy has pushed for these days. She knows how busy I stay and how often company comes and people call me away and she has held strong in protecting the middle of the week. . . Wednesdays. Our days.

We’ve been doing this since Emily was a few weeks old and it is hard to find words for what JOY this has brought me. My grandgirl loves me and she has been a Nandy’s girl since the start. Her mother has loved her enough to let her be and she has loved me enough to make it happen.

Everyone knows how close this now 2 year old child is with her grandmama and I know it is a matter of the heart. The heart of a mother who cared enough to not let go when that would have been easier.

Now, we have added Caden and she has strengthened his relationship with me and nurtured the bond between she and I even more. He will be a year old in a couple of weeks and he has been sharing our Wednesdays since birth.

We make a lunch together and try to always include a dessert. We watch a movie when we can or scrapbook or whatever we find to do and we always, always talk. We share these children with joined hearts and I am completely grateful to her and to the Lord for her.

Today, our lunch was bow tie pasta tossed with olive oil, sautéed onions and garlic, steamed broccoli, seasonings and so ons. We had seasoned Tilapia fish, baked and broiled in the oven and sweet iced tea.
We kept up with the kids by consuming two pots of lovely coffee and hours of conversation.

Now, when I share the many menus from "Our Wednesdays" --- you'll know what I mean. Smile...

Rth 1:16 But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God.

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